3 Tips for Settling Into Your First Job

You’ve just started your new job at a big engineering firm, fresh out of college.

You go in with an attitude of part-anxiety and part-excitement to show off your youthful energy, even though you know that almost nothing that you learned in the last four years is going to be put to use at this job.

The last four years wasn’t a waste, though.

You’ve learned how to procrastinate like a pro, how to take an exam with a solid three hours of sleep, and of course: How many beers it takes you to start singing karaoke.

But this is the real world. You’re a little fish in a big corporate pond, and you’ll be working alongside people that have been working in your industry for longer than you’ve been alive.

Confidence can be hard to come by at the beginning, but I assure you, with these ideas in mind, you’ll have a great mindset going in.

1. Accept Your Role as a Newbie

Going in, nobody is going to expect you to know how to do things. You’re going to have to ask what acronyms mean, how to file your reports properly, how to get on the boss’s good side, when the newbie gets to stop delivering coffee to everyone and anything else you might not know simply based on lack of experience.

As long as you make an effort to learn, people will want to help you.

You may be frustrated that you have to ask a ton of questions, but when you are genuinely curious and want to know something, you allow your more experienced coworkers the chance to show off their knowledge and give them the opportunity to act as a mentor.

Being a mentor can be a great feeling, and when you give your coworkers that opportunity you become a source of confidence and importance for those above you. This can provide a huge boost of happiness to your veteran coworkers.

A 2012 paper published by psychologist Cameron Anderson at the University of California-Berkeley found that happiness is best correlated with not how much you earn, but how much others respect and admire you. When you give your coworkers access to this happiness, they will be grateful for you.

2. Your Lack of Experience is Very Valuable

Believe it or not, your lack of experience can be incredibly valuable.

Many large companies have traditions that are incredibly hard to break, and you may often hear that they have been “doing it that way for years.”

So what happens when you, a fresh, young, ambitious mind comes in and gets introduced to all of these ancient processes? Gears start to turn in your head, and you may start to wonder why you don’t make it with high-strength plastic instead of metal. Why you don’t make it round instead of square. Blue instead of black.

The fact that your brain hasn’t been seeing these processes for years, like your coworkers have, makes you an incredibly valuable asset. You aren’t biased toward any particular way of doing things, and you have a ton of fresh ideas and insights that your bosses and coworkers can use to inspire their own improvements.

Even though you may not make a single improvement for months upon months of working at a company, you can learn a boatload by inquiring why certain things are done the way they are. In addition to this, your fresh ideas, coupled with the experience of your veteran co-workers, can be a recipe for huge innovation.

3. Don’t Base Your Value on the Bottom Line

Just because you aren’t bringing in truckloads of cash for the company doesn’t mean you aren’t an important part of the team.

Office environments can really suck. Cube life can be draining and monotonous. Annoying coworkers can drive you absolutely nuts. Jammed printers can make you want to beat something with a baseball bat. (Office Space, anyone?)

But if you are a positive source of energy and enthusiasm for all those around you, you add value to the company by improving the mood and productivity of everyone around you. It doesn’t take a scientific study to show that happy employees are more productive.

But since I have one handy, studies show that companies that are on Fortune magazine’s Best Companies to Work For list outperform the stock market as a whole by a factor of 2 to 1.

Ron Friedman, PhD, and author of The Best Place To Work, has performed research with motivational experts at the University of Rochester on the effect of emotional contagion (how your emotions effect those around you) in the work place.

Dr. Friedman began the study by inviting some volunteers to do a timed set of word puzzles in his lab. Before taking part in the word puzzle test, some of these volunteers “accidentally” overheard a highly motivated participant (aka an actor hired by Dr. Friedman) discuss their experience with the puzzles.

Other volunteers overheard a highly unmotivated participant discuss theirs. Can you guess who was able to complete more puzzles when it was their turn to take part?

The volunteers who heard the unmotivated actors completed an average of 12.8 puzzles in the allotted time. Those who heard the motivated actors completed an average of 17.6 puzzles, an increase of 37.5 percent.

So even though it may not feel like it, your coworkers are greatly influenced by your emotions, and you are greatly influenced by theirs.

Parting Words

Let’s flash forward a couple of months.

You are still the new guy at work and are still being subjected to both the benefits and drawbacks of being that guy. There is still a boatload that you don’t know how to do, but there’s something about your presence that is inspiring to your coworkers.

You’re an eager learner, as you are consistently putting into practice the good habits of all the mentors you can take advantage of at work.

Your veteran coworkers love helping you out, because each of them know that they had a little part in helping you blossom. In return, you approach each day with a positive energy that can be felt by all around you.

Your mid-year review comes around, and you can’t help but smile as you leave your boss’ office after a glowing review.

Well done.

(Photo by bencleric / CC BY)

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5 Questions To Make Starting Your Own Business Easier

I had worked at the company since I was 20 years old as an intern.

I had a great relationship with my boss Nick, who was also one of my close friends.

Together we had grown the business from running out of his living room into a real company.

I had just told Nick I wanted to talk about my future, but as soon as we sat down at the Starbucks in Hollywood, I knew I was going to quit.

Before he arrived I quickly checked my notes to re-affirm the reasons I needed to run my own shop. I had been going back and forth before then about whether I really wanted all the responsibility of being the boss or not.

On my notes I had written out five questions about why I wanted to start my own company. The answers to those questions were all I needed to know I made the right decision.

I quit calmly and left on good terms with Nick professionally and personally. For me it was the right choice.

But what about you?

If you’re reading this, you might have that annoying itch in the back of your mind. You think you might sorta, kinda, maybe like to start your own business.

But you’re not sure where to start. You’ve always had a job, and you don’t know what you should do in what order to end up successfully self-employed.

So I’m going to share the questions I asked myself to make my transition easier that I have shared with several aspiring entrepreneurs since.

1. Do You Need To Quit Your Job?

This was the first question I asked myself. Did I actually need to quit, or could I continue to draw a regular paycheck and work on my business on the side?

Obviously that’s the best case scenario, but in my situation it wasn’t an option because I’d be going into the exact same field as my former boss.

If you can, try to get started on nights and weekends before making the switch to full time, as it will let you get an idea of how viable the business is.

2. Who Are Your Customers?

This is the second most important question you can ask yourself. I was lucky enough to have gained a following due to my old blog and social media posts.

When I left my old job, I was able to use my blog to create a list of about 1500 interested prospects I could market to. If I didn’t know who my customers were, or how to find them cheaply, I would not have quit my job.

A lot of entrepreneurs live by what I call the “Field of Dreams” delusion. They think “If they build it, they will come,” but in reality you need to know who your customers are — at least broadly — before you start your own business.

3. How Soon Can I Make My First Sale?

No matter what your business idea is, it will live or die based on its sales. Michael Masterson said in his great book Ready, Fire, Aim that until your business is grossing a million dollars a year, sales is your only job.

Don’t be discouraged if you can’t make your first sale for a few months or even, in the case of businesses like real estate, for more than a year. The key is to  focus on your sales process.

I recommend creating a sales funnel, which is an easy and preset way to guide your prospects to the sale.

4. What’s Most Important To You?

A lot of times when I talk to aspiring entrepreneurs they want to start their own business for the totally wrong reasons. I hate to burst your bubble, but if you start your own business, you’re going to be working more, not less.

Especially in the beginning.

Ever since The 4 Hour Work Week, a lot of people want to start their own business for the “lifestyle” benefits. While you will have more control over your time and can probably ditch your commute, you will always be on call.

When something goes wrong at work, you can call your boss or someone else in charge. When it goes wrong in your business, you’re the person they call.

Make sure that, like a contestant on The Bachelorette, you are doing it for the right reasons.

5. Are You Willing To Work Super Hard?

When you start your own business, you are signing up for 18 to 24 months of really hard work. I have successfully started three different businesses and helped launch countless others, so I know this — that’s the reality of starting a business.

Yes, some people(mostly in tech)get lucky and sell for a kajillion dollars, but that’s the exception not the rule. Listen to any successful entrepreneur, and they will talk

about the hard days and nights, grinding away, before they became successful.

If you’re not willing to work really hard for 18 to 24 months, like most people won’t, you will not be successful and live like most people can’t.

—

If you ask yourself those five questions and are really honest with yourself, you will get all the answers you need about whether or not you’re ready to start your own business.   

Good luck!

(Photo by tvol / CC BY)

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How to Balance Your Career Goals with Family

Don’t apologize for wanting to be an achiever.

You’re willing to work hard.

You take the extra assignment.

You want to do whatever is necessary to get ahead.

While some today use overachiever as a derogatory term, you reach for the higher rung — with the best of motives.

If your aim is excellence for the sake of your ego, you’re likely headed for failure. But if you want to shine for the benefit of others, for your employer or because of your faith, you might be amazed at what comes of your efforts.

Still you must be careful to remember what really matters.

The Important Stuff

When I was a newlywed and a publishing executive, I pursued my ultimate dream of becoming a full-time freelance writer by taking assignments on the side from various magazines.

Once I happened to interview five men about twice my age, all at roughly the same time.

At one point in the interviews I asked each man the same question: What regret do you have at this stage of life?

Each said they wished they’d spent more time with their kids during the growing up years.

I’ll never forget telling my wife Dianna that clearly someone was trying to tell me something. “If I get to that age and have that same regret, I’m going to be without excuse.”

Set Some Guidelines

We established a policy that once we had kids, I would do no writing or any office work from the time I got home after work until the kids went to bed. (Of course, sometimes we put them to bed at 4:30!)

That also meant no hiding behind the newspaper or planting myself in front of the TV or sticking my nose in a book. Every day I would relieve Dianna from parenting duties and devote myself to our son, and then two sons, and finally three.

It’s one thing to tell your family they are your top priority — it’s another to prove it.

Kids hear what you say. They believe what you do. Love is spelled T-I-M-E.

The Quality vs. Quantity Time Myth

When Dianna and I were raising our sons, experts advised busy parents: If you don’t have a lot of time to spend with your kids, make sure the time you do spend with them is quality time.

I guess that meant you were supposed to discuss the meaning of the universe.

My kids often just wanted to climb on me.

The eldest and the youngest were talkers. They liked to engage while we played. Our middle son didn’t care so much about talking, as long as we played.

While naturally we didn’t agree on everything, none of them rebelled as teenagers. And today, with all of them in their 30s, we’re still close friends.

The Surprising Added Benefit

Besides the cherished memories of bonding (and a collection of the precious things kids say at various ages), I discovered an unexpected bonus.

Though I am the opposite of a night person, I was forced to push my writing to later in the evening, 9 p.m. to midnight most nights and found myself more productive during those years than in any period since.

In fact, I produced an average of more than five books a year, despite also working full time.

Why?

Because I was forced to redeem the time I had carved out to write. And when I did write, I wrote without guilt. I religiously followed my personal policy and rigidly maintained my priorities.

I refused to sacrifice my family on the altar of my career.

Do the same, and in your golden years you’ll enjoy the rich benefits of both.

(Photo by tvol / CC BY)

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7 Ways to Network on LinkedIn

Getting to know people in real life may be easy, but connecting with complete strangers online in hopes of gaining something from the exchange can be quite challenging.

It’s funny how every other advice-giver seems to love saying, “Make sure you network,” or “Try building connections,” without offering other pieces of crucial information concerning how on earth to do that!

The advice, it seems, is usually incomplete.

Every other Bob and Barbara knows that the networking game plays a major role when it comes to professions or career advancement.

What they can’t seem to figure out is how to approach a random stranger online and actually get them to trust what they have to say.

Countless professionals receive messages and emails everyday asking for them for their help, advice or just an opportunity to connect. Yet, not every message or email they receive will be responded to.

Then what makes professionals notice a person they are actually willing to connect with? That’s exactly what we are going to discuss today. Here are seven tips for connecting with strangers on LinkedIn.

1. Conduct a Background Check

I don’t mean that you’re going to be suspicious of this person’s activities in the past. If so, you should be thinking twice about connecting.

I mean that before you approach the individual you should complete a thorough investigation on the person. Who are they? How did you get to know them?

Is there any other information you can gather about this person through their blog, website, books, interviews, pictures, profiles or works? Once you’ve done your homework, you’re all set to approach this person with informed and intelligent things to say.

2. Refer to Something in Common

This trick works well even in real-life situations. You want to connect to a stranger? Find out something you have in common.

Naturally, we assume that if a person who shares the same/similar traits, beliefs, values, skills or experiences, we’re better connected. Perhaps, we feel we can relate to this person and receive or provide advice on the subject.

Whatever the reason, leading with something in common is a great way to strike up a conversation with a stranger and actually get their attention.

3. Get to the Point—Fast

People are busy. They have jobs to do, chores to attend to, people to spend time with and other numerous errands to run. Wasting the individuals time by going on and on about how you found them or background information on yourself is only going to annoy them.

Keep it short and get to the point — fast.

4. Avoid Being Too Direct

On one hand, you want to avoid wasting their time with irrelevant information and get to the point. On the other hand, you want to steer clear of appearing too greedy.

Your intention to connect could be to find a link to a dream job. However, avoid being direct about your intentions because they probably already have a long list of people who they’re more willing to give the offer to — most likely people who are not complete strangers.

Give the relationship building some time and effort, and always remember that you have to give before you can get. A good rule to follow is to avoid thinking about what they can do for you and instead focus on what you do for them and how to strengthen the relationship.

Once that has been mastered, there’s no harm taking what need.

5. Portray Your Sincerity

You could either be a serious connector or just a fisherman looking for random connections. Whichever you are, you certainly don’t want to appear to be the latter.

With your words, you can portray yourself to be a serious candidate looking for a serious relationship. A great way to do this is to list your qualifications relevant to your pitch.

Looking for some marketing advice? Highlight what you have already achieved in the field of marketing. Need a link to a developer’s job? Tell ‘em what you’ve built so far. Get the idea?

6. Update Your Profile

Imagine receiving one of those Facebook friend requests or messages with no mutual friends, no profile picture to recognize the person and barely any other information to identify the person with.

You’re certainly not going to add this person to your list of friends when there is no way you can find out what you have in common with this person. This is similar to what goes on in LinkedIn.

Even though it’s a platform where connecting with a stranger is commonplace, the rules of having a sound and solid profile (including pictures) apply here as well.

7. Start Now!

You shouldn’t have to wait until you need to connect to actually start networking. Connections take time and patience to build, and many times, it’s those long-term relationships that actually that pay off.

As mentioned earlier, you have to give before you can get. Start building your connections now so that at the time of need, you have the connections to use as resources and take what you require.

(Photo by tvol / CC BY)

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5 Reasons Entrepreneurship Isn’t as Risky as You Think

Have you been mulling over the idea you have about starting a business?

You think, “I could really start a company. I see these folks on Shark Tank. I could do that.”

You know that your corporate job is slowly crushing you, bit by bit.

But then you read somewhere that nine out of 10 new businesses fail, and it scares the hell out of you.

When you talk with your family and friends, they focus mostly on the risks, reinforcing your concerns.

You’re right to have some concerns, but there is no need to be scared, because you can beat the odds. Being an entrepreneur isn’t as risky as most people think, and here are five reasons why.

1. The Timing’s NEVER Been Better

This may be the best time in history to start a new business. The Internet and web-based software has made it so that a founder has everything he or she needs at his fingertips. You can set up a website with a few clicks after buying a domain and signing up for a hosting service.

Not sure how you want your site to look? You can buy a prepackaged theme.

Want to set up an email list to keep in touch with your customers? Try Aweber or MailChimp.

Need help with technology? Check out Odesk.

Not only are there abundant tools, but also a wealth of free information to help you in every aspect of your new business. Blogs can give you a ton of great tips, and if you want to learn more, you can take an inexpensive online course.

The Internet also gives you the power to attract customers to your new business in easy and inexpensive ways that were not possible just a few years ago. Using social networks like Facebook, Pinterest or Twitter can spread the word for free about your products and ideas.

You can also buy ads on these social networks or on Google to reach billions of prospective customers around the world. The Internet and its myriad available tools are amazing enablers for you as a founder.

2. Outsourcing Is Easy

No entrepreneur has all the skills needed for success. You’re going to need some help, for example, with website design, advertising, accounting or customer service. Hiring full-time employees can be risky.

But you don’t need full-time people — you just need help. It’s quite easy to find expert contractors for your new business through various Internet sites. Most offer reviews so you can find the best people for your needs.

3. Test Your Idea Until You Find a Winner

One common reason new businesses fail is that the founder thinks he knows the market needs. He launches a product, only to find out he was wrong.

The best way to reduce that risk is to test your assumptions. First, write those assumptions out:

• Who are your customers going to be?
• What are their problems that your business can solve?
• Why is your solution different?
• How are you going to reach them?
• How much will they pay you to solve the problem?

Then, before you launch a product or service, get feedback on these assumptions from actual customers. Do some interviews or surveys to get their perspective. You can also easily set up a landing page to see how people respond. Adjust your idea from this feedback.

Even if that feedback isn’t ideal, you can change the idea somewhat, which is called “pivoting” in the startup vernacular. Lots of great companies are a pivot from the original idea, including Twitter and Groupon.

4. Great Mentors Are All Around

Sometimes a new business will fail because the founder loses momentum and quits. Being an entrepreneur can be a lonely thing — the ups and downs of running a small business are tough. This is especially true as a solo or lifestyle entrepreneur.

Get yourself a few mentors who understand what you’re dealing with and who can keep you on track. In your professional network or on LinkedIn, you can find successful people who have started their own business.

Maybe attend a meetup or networking event. There are many people out there who will give advice and assistance to keep you moving toward your ultimate success

5. Safety in Corporate Life Is Exaggerated

Part of the reason you may view starting a business as risky is because you perceive a corporate job to be “safe.”

Anyone who lived through the Great Recession or the Tech Bubble bursting in 2001 knows that jobs in corporate America are plenty risky. Companies these days are quick to lay off and slow to hire.

The best way to protect yourself is by starting your own business and taking control. It allows you to begin building an income stream and control your own destiny. There is nothing risky about that. And you don’t have to quit your job — you can start a new business as a side project.

Release Your Fears

Your fear of the risks of starting a new business might be holding you back from living the life you want and having your greatest impact on the world. Hopefully, this article has shown you those risks are largely misconceptions.

Up until now, you have been listening to that inner part of you saying, “It’s too risky” or “I might fail.”

Instead, what if you listened to Nelson Mandela?

May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fear.”

What would happen if you lived your life this way?

Your dreams of starting a company and taking control are all right there in front of you, waiting for you to act. It is time.

(Photo by StartupStockPhotos / CC BY)

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6 Steps to a More Satisfying Career Path

With my corporate clients, I’m often involved in career transition programs.

This involves facilitating or coaching leaders as they prepare and build their personal brand for the next stage in their career.

Most of the dialogues start from the wise premise, “What got you here, won’t get you there.”

Behind this though are the tough conversations around what they actually want.

No matter where you are in your career, considering the next level of transition is too frequently skipped over or given only partial focus. The obvious choices of your boss’ job or a role carrying the higher title or pay-grade are planted front and center as the goal.

All career transition work thereafter is set to drive headlong in that direction. But ask yourself these questions:

• Is this actually what you want?
• Is this what would further you in career steps beyond this one?
• Will the role take you nearer or further from your passions and your values?

The Timeless Challenge of Purpose

Purpose is the quiet inner guidance system that, when tapped, informs your career choices and much more.

Let’s be clear — purpose is not permanent. Purpose is almost never one thing.

Read that again. Simply recognizing this impermanence can be liberating. If, by any chance, you have times in your life during which you feel you have purpose, treat this purpose lightly, and don’t cling to it too tightly.

Let it go when need be and be open to embracing a greater purpose that, almost certainly, is about to emerge.

The act of finding purpose is, by its nature, elusive. Purpose evolves and emerges only, to a tiny extent, in response to searching for it. Allowing is the more relevant action here.

And another thing — your purpose has nothing to do with what you do. Your purpose is about:

• Discovering and nurturing who you truly are
• Knowing yourself at the deepest level
• Guiding yourself back when you lose your way

Any and all of the impact you have in your career will correlate to your (constantly emerging and evolving) purpose.

The Six-Step Purpose Toolkit

In absolute and simple terms there are only a few things to do:

• Decide to be open to recognizing your purpose
• Identify, expand and express your talents
• Find more ways and places in which you can use your talents.

In order to do these three things, let’s break it down into six steps.

1. Someone Else’s Purpose

Are you on a career path signposted to you by your parents, your peers, the media, society? Does it really make you happy? Evaluate what you want/where are you heading and run it past the following triage a few times. Each go can uncover a deeper level of thinking:

• Why do I want that?
• What then?
• What will I have or be then?

2. Away From or Toward

You will be surrounded by a rich mix of push-and-pull forces, none of which are inherently good or bad. They are simply forces. Identify those that you can.

What are the situations, roles, people, events, places, circumstances to which you are drawn? What are the situations, roles, people, events, places, circumstances from which you are moving away or by which you are repulsed?

3. Turnaround

What are the contingent changes for which you are waiting or that need to be in place before what you really want can become possible? For example, complete a few sentences using “When or if … (this is true)…, I’ll then …”

The turnaround works by flipping that sentence around and noticing your thoughts and feelings then. Through exploring the contingency you can uncover your desires and passions; there they sit, masked by the annoying excuse or obstacle.

4. Naturally

What are the things you do naturally, almost mindlessly, and possibly take for granted? Your colleagues and friends may often say, “It comes naturally to you.”

Do you have an eye for detail, a sense of humor, a way of engaging newcomers, an ability to think way ahead? This is your talent — this is where your genius shows up.

5. Love It

This is so obvious it should be where you start, but its simplicity often makes it the least actioned part of your purpose work. Simply list as many things as you can that you love. (I use this word deliberately to stir you to go beyond the “like” and “quite enjoy” items).

List the activities, places and people that make you smile, that have an impact on you.

Your career is not about waiting for these things or squeezing them into the gaps in your itinerary. They form the fabric of your life and almost certainly will inform the nature of your impact.

6. The Inspirers

Throughout your life you will have noticed and emulated certain people, consciously or unconsciously, and their inspiration for you lives on. Use this activity to help you on your journey:

• List the six to 10 people who you admire the most, by whom you are most inspired and motivated.
• Next to each name, write down one word or phrase that captures the inspirational nugget they represent for you. (E.g. Mother Teresa — selflessness, Winston Churchill — wisdom and statesmanship, Usain Bolt — absolute self-belief)
• Re-write the nuggets on a separate page. These are now yours, describing the leadership impact you are destined to have, to be used to inform choices and decisions on your journey toward this.

Parting Words

Now turn these fresh written-down thoughts into action. Read your work every day for 10 days, each time pausing to consider how your words make you feel. The physical and emotional response will provide clues to the places from which your purpose will emerge.

(Photo by Moyan Brenn / CC BY)

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5 Ways to Retrain Your Brain

It was once generally accepted that we were born with a certain capacity to learn and we did the best we could with what we had.

We now know differently.

Since the 1990s — also known as “the decade of the brain” — neuroscientists have discovered that we can actually increase our capacity to learn.

Technological advances and a wealth of research now prove that creativity, innovation, critical thinking and problem solving are hardwired into each of us.

Given that we all have the same basic anatomy between our ears, what separates the best of us from the rest of us?

The masterminds have learned how to master their minds.

With a basic understanding of how the brain works and a few simple brain-based strategies, we can all increase our learning power. Learning how to learn — or relearning — is the first step. Here are five simple ways to retrain your brain and master your mind.

1. Ask More Questions

We’re taught early on that the smart people have the answers. The truth is that the smartest people ask the most questions. The superminds of mankind — Leonardo da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Galileo, Thomas Jefferson and Isaac Newton — have all been described as having insatiable curiosity.

For example, Leonardo’s notebooks comprise over 7,000 pages of confounding questions illustrating his relentless quest to discover the “knowledge of all things.”

One way to exercise your natural curiosity is to shift away from trying to find the “right answer,” and learn how to explore different questions. Asking more “what if” and “why” questions will not only nurture creativity and innovation but also increase your problem-solving ability.

Practice reframing questions to shift your perspective. For example, instead of trying to find the meaning of life, consider finding more ways to make your life meaningful. That feels different, doesn’t it?

2. Laugh and Smile

Laughter reduces stress, releases neurotransmitters in the brain and is clinically proven to have a powerful and positive effect on physical, emotional and social health, and overall wellbeing. Laughter also works as an effective distraction from things that cause stress and anger — emotions that impede our ability to learn.

In fact, studies show that the simple act of smiling has been found to increase attention and the ability to see problems holistically.

In addition, humor and creativity are inextricably connected. Laughing and smiling create the conditions necessary for the brain to engage in divergent thinking, which is essential for complex problem solving.

Humor links otherwise unconnected areas of the brain, which is the primary goal of whole-brain thinking. And if that isn’t enough, research also suggests that people who smile more may live longer!

3. Embrace Mistakes

A Google search on “fear of failure” will produce more than 150 million hits. It’s No. 15 on the top 100 phobias list listed as atychiphobia. It’s also one of the greatest barriers to learning and overall success.

We tend to internalize mistakes as evidence that we aren’t smart. Intellectually, we know that mistakes are essential to the learning process, but no one wants to embrace them or bring attention to them.

However, when you embrace mistakes (honest mistakes, not careless mistakes) as part of the learning process rather than examples of failures, the chemistry of your brain actually changes.

Instead of releasing stress-related chemicals that impede learning, your brain will release the happy chemicals that promote learning. Rather than seeing each mistake as one step closer to failure, you’ll be able to process the mistake intellectually as productive learning and be more open to seeing a solution.

4. Find Joy in Learning

When we truly enjoy learning, we’re more likely to embrace and overcome intellectual challenges. In addition, we’re much more likely to exercise higher-level executive thinking, make deeper cognitive connections and apply new learning in other areas of our lives.

Alfie Kohn refers to this as “exuberant discovery,” and now science backs up his theory with research. Brain maps of electrical activity (EEG or brain waves) and neuroimaging of neurotransmitters show us what happens when we experience different emotions during learning.

We can actually see bursts of brain activity in one area of the brain followed by bursts of electrical activity in the hippocampus, amygdala and other parts of the limbic system.

In simpler terms, when you enjoy learning something new, your brain releases a nice shot of dopamine that gives the memory center a nice massage and releases a chemical that increases both focus and attention span. It’s kind of like treating your brain to a spa day.

That is the way to learn the most, that when you are doing something with such enjoyment that you don’t notice that the time passes.”
– Albert Einstein

5. Use Your Whole Brain

Indisputably, Albert Einstein was one of the greatest scientific minds in history. So what was it about his brain that enabled him to understand space, time, mass and energy in a way that would change the world?

In 2013, a team of scientists in China examined Einstein’s brain and discovered that he had a freakishly large corpus callosum. The largest nerve fiber bundle in the brain connecting the two hemispheres was thicker and larger than normal.

Simply, Einstein’s brain was more connected than most. He was able to think, learn and explore the world around him with his whole brain.

If you really want to tap into your inner genius, learn how to use your whole brain. Incorporate these into your mental tasks:

• Music
• Movement
• Colors
• Doodles
• Dialogue
• Change of scenery

These can stimulate different parts of your brain to increase creative thinking, expand your perspective and give you greater enlightenment.

Laugh a little more and enjoy the journey. Ask questions and be on the lookout for juicy mistakes. Just understanding how the amazing brain works makes you smarter already!

(Photo by Daniele Oberti / CC BY)

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10 Must-Have Attributes for a Modern Leader

Leaders: some say they are born, while others say they are made.

First thing’s first, dwelling on these premises is futile because leadership is an attribute that pretty much falls in a, say, complex region.

On one hand, some people are indeed born with superb leadership skills that are simply off the charts.

On the other hand, some are born with endless potential that may enable them to become great leaders, just as long as they push the right buttons and make the right moves.

If you’re the latter and you want to be a good and successful leader, bear in mind that there are certain attributes that you need develop.

What are the qualities of a good leader? Read on and find out what they are.

1. Act and Inspire Others in the Process

To become a good leader, you need to act and make a stand. No one leads exceptionally by simply sitting still and giving orders.

Remember, the good ones do not rely on their title or position to lead or manage. Rather, they utilize their own energy and combine it with influence — these undertakings make them effective, efficient and ready to lead.

2. Communicate with Respect

Communication, they say it is the key to success. This is true when it comes to great leaders because they don’t just communicate with their subordinates or colleagues, they communicate with respect.

This is regardless of if they are in team meetings, one-on-one conversations, phone calls or even text messaging.

3. Be Committed

Do you want to reach your full potential and gain the respect of colleagues as well as subordinates? Then you need to be totally committed to the task at hand and be dedicated to your craft.

This means you need to pursue your objectives, play your part and do your work to the best of you abilities, no matter how small or big it is.

Furthermore, being committed to your task and craft signifies that you have a concrete passion as well as purpose for it. By doing so, you develop enthusiasm along the way and at the same time maximize your ability to achieve it.

4. Build Expertise and Technical Acumen

Most leaders start out with certain skills like selling, designing and accounting, among others. However, the best ones make it a point to hone their acquired skills overtime.

In the long run, they become exceptional experts in their field and therefore become leaders.

5. Think Outside the Box

In today’s competitive business field, many decisions are not clear-cut. The ability to make decisions like this pretty much separates the men from the boys, because good leaders can deviate from a set strategy and make an important decision in a heartbeat.

Putting this factor into consideration, thinking outside the box and being creative under stress is vital if you want to be good leader.

6. Maintain Composure Under Pressure

In a perfect world, everything goes according to plan. Sad to say, we do not live in a perfect world, and blunders are encountered every once in a while, no matter how hard we try.

In times like these, it is important for a leader not to panic because doing so may have a negative impact on the morale of the whole team or company. For this reason, he/she needs to be confident and assure everyone that setbacks are nothing but natural and it would be best to stay calm, keep working, and move ahead.

7. Trust Your Gut

Leading a team, whether in a business, personal or whatever, is like traversing unchartered waters — there is no map available. Simply put, everything is uncertain, but the good news is this: The higher the pressure and risk, the higher the reward.

To achieve this, you need to rely on your intuition or instinct. This is most true when something unexpected occurs. Eventually, these tough decisions will mold you, but first you need to learn to trust yourself and by doing so, you’ll grow.

8. Adapt to Change

It’s no secret that the world is changing at such a fast pace. This in turn, requires people and organizations to adapt to meet clients’ needs and stay relevant.

Good leaders know for themselves that change is constant and for this reason, they religiously push their subordinates, colleagues and even organizations to have the right mindset when changes take place.

9. Develop Problem-Solving Skills

In general, leaders are tapped to analyze and solve organizational problems. With this in mind, it is important to note that the good ones are great with analysis and aren’t afraid to solve problems.

10. Have a Sense of Humor

Leadership is a serious matter, but this does not mean that there’s no room for laughter. Remember, a little humor contributes to a healthy workspace.

So make it a point to crack jokes every once in a while and encourage a little personal and light discussions from time to time. By doing so, you can boost morale and heighten productivity levels.

Parting Words

Much has been said about becoming a good leader, and a lot of it all boils down to developing the above-mentioned attributes. Hone your craft, and make yourself stand out.

By doing so, you’ll be a good leader who is a cut above the rest.

(Photo by DT / CC BY)

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6 Ways to Accelerate Your Career

Admit it … you’re angry.

You’ve worked long hours, taken on extra assignments and attended office parties. Your boss said he or she liked your work, even hinted at an imminent promotion. But when the time came, the prize went to your coworker.

High fives, pats on the back and congratulatory emails fly around your office. You keep a stiff upper lip and even offer your congratulations. Inside you’re seething. The promotion should have been yours.

And you ask yourself, why are they better than me?

Or has my boss just been pacifying me so I would work harder and sacrifice my personal life?

You pack up your laptop and pass your colleagues on their way to get a celebratory drink. It feels like you are the out part of the in crowd. As you lay awake at night, you worry that your career has gone stagnant.

You think the answer may be to find a new job. Certainly, a new company will recognize your efforts and reward you with amazing career options. Maybe not.

The truth is that hard work alone won’t get you to the next level. It’s just the beginning. What actually might get you there faster is a well-thought out game plan. And it’s easier to execute than you think.

1. Be Clear

Before you apply for a job or ask for a promotion, make sure you are pursuing a job that’s right for you. The last thing you want to do is to get your dream job only to find out it’s the wrong one.

Reach out to someone a level above the job that interests you and ask to learn more about the business area and prospective role. Most people will be flattered that you asked for their advice and will give you the time.

Whether the discussion is in person or on the phone, be professional in your tone and appearance, and come prepared with good questions.

Follow up the discussion with a thank you email that references specific insights gained from the conversation.

2. Say It and Say It Again

You know what you want. In fact, you have a list of everything you want in a career. The problem is that the paper isn’t worth what it’s printed on if you don’t tell anyone, particularly your boss, more than once a year.

Today’s fast-paced business world has produced leaders with good intentions but with limited attention spans. By the time you’ve left their office, your career goals are forgotten. So it’s important to spot the moments when you can reiterate your desires.

Corporate website articles, external blogs, meetings and even hallway conversations are easy ways to attach your career aspirations to natural business events.

When you find something that applies to a career area that interests you, send an email or have a hallway conversation with your boss and say something like this. “Ran across something that made me think (insert career goal) … Thought it might apply to (insert project or business area) … Do you a have a few minutes?”

3. Birds of a Feather

Ever wonder why your boss seems to like some people more than others? Contrary to what you might think, it is often not about shared interests, but how well others create a bond or connection.

It’s the same feeling when two people reach for the same doughnut simultaneously or when someone brings you coffee that’s made exactly how you like it.

It doesn’t require a personality change on your part. It simply requires that you communicate your thoughts and ideas in a way that is similar to their style. Using their mannerisms, tone and inflection will go a long way to getting your point across.

4. Rock Star Moves

At some point in your career, you’ve probably taken a personality test that plots your strengths and weaknesses against common leadership styles. Assessments point out obvious points and some blind spots but rarely do they provide actionable ideas related to your job.

The best guides are the rock star leaders who seem to have the wow factor that attracts intense positive attention, influences others and drives results. Watch them in action and pay special attention to their appearance, mannerism, tone and speech pattern. Notice how others react to them and emulate what works.

5. Got That Something

Everyone has something that is unique that sets them apart from others. Rather than focusing on your development points, exploit your strengths. Seize projects where your special skills will shine above others.

Indulge in a little self-promotion campaign, slipping subtle sound bites about the special you into meetings, emails and hallway encounters. When people hear things repeatedly, they state them as fact.

6. Paparazzi

Companies are always looking for ways showcase their employees through their work and charitable contributions within the community. It’s another way to advertise to prospective customers and employees.

Send your boss, human resources and corporate communications information about your special projects, awards or your work with charitable organizations that might make an interesting article.

—

Now imagine, it’s six months later and the promotion cycle is here again, but this time it’s your turn. You’re the new leader that everyone wants to follow and emulate, all because you did the work, but more importantly you took the risk.

Sound impossible? It’s not.

You’ve done the work.

And I’ll let you in on a secret. When all else fails, fake it until you make it.

(Photo by Unsplash / CC BY)

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How to Set More Realistic Goals

Graduate at the top of the class.

Become a CEO.

Get on the cover of Forbes.

Have the world’s most influential leaders on speed-dial.

Save the world.

Lofty goals consume us, sometimes in healthy ways, sometimes not so much. Goals are everything — they tell us where we’re going and inspire us to do what it takes to get there.

Nevertheless, no matter how beautiful and well-defined our final destination might be, without the rest of the map to guide us there, it’s nothing more than a pretty picture on a piece of paper.

Debunking the Myth

Here’s the biggest misconception about goals: As long as they’re created and the aspiration to achieve them is great enough, they’ll be accomplished.

Wrong. Back of the line.

Making goals isn’t enough. Knowing where you want to be in 20 years is important, obviously, but what about in five years? One year? Next month?

The reason why some aspirations are so popular (especially when related to money or prestige) is that they’re intentionally vague. It’s easy to latch onto something that has no prerequisites explicitly advertised. Thus, everyone wants to be a millionaire but nobody knows how to start.

Individualizing the Universal

The only way to accomplish said-goal is to see how it fits into your own life. You are unique. Odds are, the goal is not.

Take stock of your current career and financial circumstances, talents, and passions, and be brutally honest with yourself. Then you can begin aligning the ambiguous path you’ve been lusting after with your special abilities and interests.

While being honest with yourself is the most humbling part of redefining goals, being fair is definitely the hardest. Once you’ve taken inventory of where you are, remember who you are.

What do you have that your coworkers don’t? You may be in the same place right now in your careers, but your potential is vastly different.

• Maybe you’re a desk jockey but have a real knack for public speaking
• A writer who’s always enjoyed logic and math
• A lab tech who finds great ease in communicating even the most complex ideas with others.

The job you’re doing now isn’t taking advantage of all you have to offer. Don’t be bitter about it, you’ll use these gems soon enough, but for now remember why you’re different.

Fight or Flight

Now think about your current job. Naturally, it would be easier to stay in this position and try to climb the ranks or otherwise fulfill your career goal, but it’s better to realize its stagnation now rather than later.

Is the course being set for you here going to bring you to where you ultimately want to be? Is it at least possible?

If the answer is yes, you should definitely stay where you are for now. Use your unique attributes to further your success in ways only you can.

If another 10 years into your occupation, accounting for likely promotions, has you taking another path entirely from the one that will lead you to your goal, then that might be the best thing for you.

There’s a reason you took this job, and if passion had anything to do with it, there’s something more for you here than a paycheck. It’s worth revisiting your original goal and deciding if you shouldn’t alter it to accommodate the joys of a path you never thought you’d take.

However, if your crystal ball is showing you in another several years no closer to your goal or another you’re happy with, it’s time to divert your path. No amount of money can compensate for the regret you’ll feel of a life spent going nowhere fast.

Breaking it Down

Any goal worth achieving is going to be incredibly challenging. This has no bearing on how possible it is to fulfill, just how many details need to be filled in.

For example, let’s backtrack a few years and say your goal is getting admitted into a top-ranked university. What might that require?

• A solid GPA
• Leadership roles
• Involvement in extracurriculars
• Volunteerism
• A high SAT score

So for a teenager, this could sound overwhelming. That’s OK — right now we’re separating ourselves from the goal and objectively considering what it would take for someone (not necessarily you) to accomplish.

Now let’s bring it home. Take the requirements, be they well-known or what you think the goal necessitates, and make a tentative game plan.

How do you improve your GPA? Consider your study habits, your assignment or group selection process, your relationships with teachers and tutors, your other distractions, your learning limitations, etc. Once you have a list of strengths and weaknesses, you can tackle the difficulties currently keeping you from your goal.

The bottom line? If the goal is vague, break it down until it’s overwhelming. When it’s overwhelming, break it down until it’s itemized. When it’s itemized, apply your situation to the list and determine how you can hop those hurdles right into the finish line.

Embracing the Detour

Stark reality: We can’t all graduate from the top of our class, be a CEO or get on the cover of Forbes. These are the catchy sound-bites we look to for inspiration, but even after individualizing them, creating mini-goals or diverting the path, we just might not get there.

You have to accept that. You have to be okay with it. Most importantly, you have to know that wherever your efforts get you to, if not the original goal, it’s somehow better for you in a way you may not realize.

After all, as Soren Kierkegaard said,

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

(Photo by sciencefreak / CC BY)

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5 Questions to Find Meaning in Your Work

From 2002 to 2012, I shared my life with the four-legged love of my life, a Czechoslovakian Shepherd named Kona.

He meant everything to me, and I wanted to give him the best of everything!

However, almost from the day of his birth, Kona had health challenges, all of which were serious but treatable.

When I say “treatable,” I mean, extremely expensive to treat.

In the first 18 months of his life alone, his vet bills cost over $10,000 – and every year, they skyrocketed.

Now, during those 10 years, I was very fortunate to have a job that paid me enough to cover my own needs and all of Kona’s vet bills. But the workplace environment and office politics were at times emotionally and spiritually draining. Yet, I chose to continue working at this job in order to give Kona the best possible care I could afford.

Along the way I had to find a way to make it easier — notice I said easier, not necessarily easy — to show up and do the work.

My Authentic Self

One of the reasons it was easier for me to show up and do the work was that I was able to bring many of my values, my favorite skills, my interest and my passions — what I refer to as my Authentic Self — into the workplace.

For example, I was a very good project manager and business process engineer, and my job enabled me to use both of these skills. Also, out of necessity, I became very knowledgeable about Kona’s medical condition and how to navigate the often confusing highways and byways of experimental treatments, pet insurance and breed-specific health issues.

As a result, colleagues often asked me for advice on a variety of issues they were facing with their own pets. Since this was one of my passions, I was grateful to be able to bring it into the workplace as well.

Thriving Without Your “Life’s Work?”

Are you like me? Perhaps you might not be in a position to work at something you love and that fills you with a sense of purpose. Perhaps your present circumstances — financially, emotionally, physically — do not allow you to pursue work that is in your best and highest interest. Perhaps you’re wondering how you can possibly thrive if you aren’t pursuing your Life’s Work.

Fortunately, there is an answer!

As long as you have to work in order to have what you need or want your life to include, you’ll be happier — or at least more willing to show up and do the work — if the work you do aligns with your Authentic Self and what is most important to you.

If you take the time to identify the components of your Authentic Self that are most important to you, you’ll have a much better chance at finding an emotional connection to whatever your work demands of you. This will allow you to thrive.

Discovering Your Authentic Self

Although most of us appreciate our unique individuality, few of us have done more than scratch the surface with regard to recognizing and appreciating the unique profile of talents, skills and abilities each of us has.

In addition, usually people are most proud of the skills that took a great deal of time and effort to develop. But they often take for granted the things they are best at doing because these things come so naturally and easily to them.

In his book, The Pathfinder, Nicholas Lore wrote,

Most of the people we most admire reached their level of achievement not by changing into someone else but by embracing their natures fully and using their personalities as instruments of self-expression.”

You, too, can learn to be an instrument of self-expression by answering five simple questions:

• What are my values?
• What are my passions and interests?
• What comes naturally to me?
• What are my favorite skills?
• What are my personality preferences?

Let’s take a closer look at these questions.

Values

A value is a principle, standard, or quality considered inherently worthwhile or desirable. Values are what motivate and fulfill you.

They are what guide you through every day, every task, every encounter with another being. They imbue your work and your life with meaning. Your truest values are those that you live by or that you are willing to commit to live by. Examples include:

• Accomplishment
• Autonomy
• Balance
• Belonging to a Group
• Compassion
• Creativity
• Doing Good
• Faith
• Family
• Friendships
• Financial Security
• Health
• Integrity
• Leadership

Passions & Interests

These are things you feel strongly about, or you like the way they makes you feel when you are engaged in them. Your passions can include interests that you’ve never done before or activities or hobbies that you’ve always been drawn to but never tried.

Ask yourself this, “If I could talk about something with someone all day long, day after day, what would that subject or field of interest be? Examples include:

• Golf
• Cooking
• Entrepreneurship
• Animal Behavior
• Gardening
• Reading
• Writing
• Painting
• Sewing
• Investing
• Homeopathic Healing

Natural Abilities

Everyone is born with a unique group of talents that are as individual as a fingerprint or snowflake. These natural abilities give each person a special talent to do certain kinds of tasks easily and happily.

Your natural abilities remain with you, unchanging, for your entire life. Examples include:

• Organizing
• Motivating
• Planning
• Leading
• Teaching
• Writing

Favorite Skills

A skill is an ability or expertise. A favorite skill is one that you not only possess but are also interested in and willing to use.

Skills can be both personal and professional. Examples include:

• Planning
• Mentoring
• Coaching
• Analyzing
• Leading/Supervising
• Instructing
• Interpreting
• Facilitating

Personality Preferences

These are traits that are usually derived from tests such as Meyers Briggs and include words like:

• Introverted
• Outgoing
• Structured
• Spontaneous
• Idealistic
• Realistic
• Assertive
• Acquiescent
• Emotional
• Controlling
• Factual

Now, you might not agree with using personality tests to determine work compatibility. But consider this: If you describe yourself as introverted, you might be happier teleworking than working in an office environment where everyone is chummy and there is an expectation of doing things together socially.

As another example, if you define yourself as spontaneous, you might find that working at a 9-to-5 job where you have to sign in and out is too restrictive.

Bring Your Authentic Self into the Workplace

Once you have a clear picture of your Authentic Self, you need to determine which elements are most important to you. These, then, are the ones you bring into the workplace.

The components of your Authentic Self that are most important to you will help you make appropriate decisions and choices so that you don’t compromise on what is truly important when it comes to being able to show up and do the work, no matter what that works entails.

At the heart of this exercise are these questions:

• How passionate must I feel about my work?
• Is it enough to be doing interesting activities so I can just pay the bills, or must I also have a personal interest in the subject matter?
• Would I be willing to consider doing something else to meet my needs and wants?
• Are there things that I think are highly significant, important or meaningful but am okay that they aren’t the centerpiece of my work?

In her book, I Could Do Anything If Only I Knew What It Was, Barbara Sher said,

You must learn to respect the wisdom of your natural instincts, because they are probably superb when it comes to weaving everything you need into your life.”

Are you respecting the wisdom of your natural instincts? A sense of purpose and authenticity is essential to success and effectiveness.

Those without a clear idea of who they are and what is most important to them will not have the foundation to keep going in the face of change or challenge.

Regardless of what kind of job you are doing now or what you may do in the future, regardless of whether you’ve found your purpose in life, whether you’re still looking for it, or whether you just want to “work to feed dogs,” taking the time to discover your Authentic Self will enable you to not just survive the workplace but to thrive!

(Photo by 873770 / CC BY)